Sigh...

Sigh. I inherited a keyboard from my cousin. (THANK YOU SO MUCH!) Although I was trained on a real piano, I will not complain. I miss playing so much that I don't care now. I love this keyboard. I've played for two days straight since I got it and I feel SO much better.

Ok. I'm done. Leave me to my bliss.

Currently watching : Sports Night - The Complete Series Boxed Set

What never ceases to make me smile

When I left work Monday night, it hit me: the smell of fall. Cool, crisp, clean. I don't know why, but when I steal a moment of a crisp fall night, it makes me smile. I feel invigorated. Alive. Unstoppable. Refreshed.

At peace.

I love the fall.

The only thing better? Ask me the day in winter when it finally hits me that its the holidays. I can't wait!

I didn't think it would be so hard to say goodbye...

This actually happened a few months ago. I hadn't told anyone because I dared not to believe it. But here it is.

I finished my book.

Its so weird. I had lived with these characters for over three years and now its done. The day I had finished, I nearly cried because I had nothing new to add to their stories. Of course, I'll edit them, but I will add nothing completely new. My journey with these characters is over, and its hard to say good bye to them.

So, it's sitting in my computer, this great accomplishment of mine...and I'm happy that for the moment, they're my characters. No one owns them yet, and they are pure creations borne from my odd imagination.

And now, I have to say good bye to them. Move on. I don't know what will happen to them next...but I need to move on to new characters, new story line, new ways to express the creativity that is itching to be freed from this crazy brain of mine.

I had worked for so long for this moment and now that its here, I am having a hard time letting it go.

I've got my own voice...so how can I help but to shout and rejoice?

A Stunning Revelation on a Completely Random Phrase

Here's a telling conversation.

Friend: I think you're making a mistake.
Me: [laughing.] You know, everyone seems to think so no matter what I say or do.
Friend: [feeling bad as he realizes the flippancy of his answer] I didn't mean--
Me: [still laughing.] I know what you meant. It's ok. It's just an interesting observation. I just think its funny that it's come up a lot lately.
Friend: I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
Me: [STILL laughing] I know. I know. Its just what do you expect me to do when you tell me something like that?
Friend: [thinks about it. starts laughing.] I don't know. I guess it was supposed to change your mind.
Me: Has it ever worked?
Friend: [shrugs.] Come to think of it, I don't think it ever has.

As of late, I am very amused at this phrase. Regarding the same issue, no matter what I had chosen to do, everyone seems to have their opinion (to which they are absolutely entitled) which is best articulated by the same careless phrase: "I think you're making a mistake."

No wonder people think they're always doing something wrong.

I suppose the conversation I had earlier this morning gave me further proof that we will always disappoint someone, and we shouldn't waste time thinking about what everyone else will think of us. The truth is, I know people care about what I decide to do, but I find a lot of guilt and shame in that phrase, despite people's best intentions. Careless words are what make up that phrase. And I think the world could use less of them.

Odds are, I probably was making a mistake. I make them every day. I don't need to be reminded of it. But its funny how we share these opinions out of the goodness of our hearts, but at the same time, break the hearts we had set out to protect.

Humans are funny that way, I suppose.

Now don't get me wrong. I think the phrase is completely useable and useful when sought after. If someone asked me if I thought they were making a mistake and I found out they really wanted to know my answer, then I would tell them the truth. And I expect the same from the people I ask. But I hope that I would try to refrain from throwing that phrase around unsolicited.

People are entitled to their opinions. It would be stupid of me to ignore that. But I hope that we all learn the difference between sharing opinions and empty speech.

So my question to all is this: which careless phrase (regardless of the person's intentions) bugs you the most?

Currently watching : Serenity (Collector’s Edition)