17 People

So...I was informed today by a handful of people that I am somewhat of a mystery. I am very good at being very vague. I am very secretive.

I don't know if that is a good thing.

It used to be a running joke that I do share things about myself to a group of 17 people. However, out of those 17 people, no single person really knows everything about me. And if you get those 17 people together you would only catch a glimpse of who I really am.

Honestly, I did not intend for that to happen, it just did. I suppose that is a result of when you share ideas and concepts instead of details.

Again, I don't know if that is a good thing.

I was also informed today that more than two people read this blog. I actually want people to read this blog (comments are welcome!) but I was only aware of the two people who read this on a semi-regular basis. Apparently, I was wrong--there are more of you! This comes a welcome surprise.

So, I guess a little backstory may be necessary for those who have read my blogs and were confused by my vague, conceptual process stories.

To compensate, this is my offering.

1. Work: I currently work as a Donor Contact Representative at World Vision's call center (also referred to as DCS). February will mark my 2nd year at World Vision. For the past four months I have filled in a temporary position in Research for DCS while my co-worker was on maternity leave. She comes back on February 3rd and I go back to the phones in two weeks. Brokenhearted doesn't even begin to explain how I feel about this.

2. The Coffee Shop: I like coffee. Fine...I won't lie. I'm addicted. There is a coffee shop that I frequent and hereby referred to as "The Coffee Shop." No, it is not Starbucks. No, I'm not telling you where.

3. Church: I love my church family. We meet a movie theater in Tacoma. In my ten (!) years of being in Tacoma, this is where I find my heart, my friends, my family. They keep me grounded and they keep me here in a town where I vowed I would never live. I currently play piano for our worship team. It has been a difficult to learn how to play keyboard after being a classically trained pianist for twenty plus years. I'm learning, but there are moments of frustration when I feel like I'm holding back. I yearn to play piano, but the keyboard will have to suffice at the moment.

4. Family: Most of my family lives in the Renton/Kent area--which incidentally is where I grew up. It hasn't always been easy, but I love them with so much of my heart. I feel very beholden to them, which divides a lot of my loyalties.

5. Political Fascination: I have a degree in Sociology in Crime and Deviance. I was going to go to law school or graduate school for policy. However, God's plan was a little different than I had expected. Every once in awhile, my studies on policy come out in my random political tirades.

6. Random: I read a lot. I love music. I watch a lot of movies. And every once in awhile, a quote from one of those genres will get stuck in my head. My blogs are often borne from those quotes in my feeble attempt to get it out of my head.

7. Why I write this blog: I want to be a writer when I grow up. Since I don't have the discipline to actually write anything of worth, I decided this blog will have to do for now.

So, if you do read this blog and if you have any questions regarding any of these 7 things, I will be happy to answer. And I promise to be as honest and direct as I can. I also reserve the right to veto any questions. (Hee!) And maybe I'll add you to the list of 17 people who get to know about me.

Shameless Incentive: I'll buy a cup of coffee (or hot chocolate) to the first person who tells me where I got the phrase "17 people."

Special Thanks to Bryan who inspired this blog. See, I'm not mysterious at all.

Losing Obsession

Ok. Last month, I declared that one of my goals was to get to a healthy body weight by next fall. My hope was that by living healthier was a good goal and one not based on vanity. I would focus on achieving a change in lifestyles instead of setting a concete goal in hopes that I won't become obsessed on how I look.

Vanity. It's all vanity.

And so, I made a silent pact with myself not to weigh myself. This came when I weighed myself last August after the stomach flu and toyed with the idea of becoming healthy. Eight weeks later, my friend asked me how much weight I had lost.

I must have made a face because she felt the need to explain herself. "You do know you're losing weight, right?"

Actually, I've been so good at denial, that I didn't even notice. I didn't think I had lost any weight. I look the same to me.

After much begging and prodding, she convinced me to weigh myself at the scale in our office space. She said that I would be surprised at the results. I didn't want to know, but then I did want to know...was any of this effort paying off?

And so I stepped onto that scale and slid the weights over to the right. I went straight to where I was before, and with utter surprise, I had to move it over to the left. I started with one notch. And then two. And seeing that I was making no progress moving it slowly, I slide it over the notch that was one pound less than where I was before.

No movement.

With a raised eyebrow I kept sliding the little weight that I had become so fearful of until the reader told me it was balanced.

Ten pounds.

Ten pounds? I blinked at disbelief. I then did the calculations in my head. Stats of every kind filled my brain. I then saw my reflection in the bathroom mirror and I still don't see the difference.

It was then that I realized how quickly I had stepped into obsession.

Vanity. All vanity.

So there's a fine line I'm walking. Although I'm proud of my achievement (even if I don't believe it) I don't want it to consume me. I'm still Abby. I was Abby ten pounds heavier and I am still Abby ten pounds lighter. I will still be Abby in Fall 2009 whether I lose the pounds or not. I intend to lose the pounds and my obsession...and not lose myself in the process.

But I will confess this: it feels good. And that's what I wanted to share at this random part of this journey.

Goal Setting

Normally, I don't set goals.

The last time I had set a goal was in January. Of 2007.

But in light of the Olympics and the lack of focus in my life, I believe now would be a good time to start setting some goals. I suppose it is fitting since it is September 1st. And as I usually run on a normal public school schedule, so the timing is perfect.

Go God. :-)

So here we go:

1. Finish the first draft of a book (that I actually intend to publish) by January 20, 2009. Yes, its Inaguaral Day! I'm not looking forward to it at all. [insert sacrasm here!]

Sidebar: No, I don't intend to have every goal be centered around a political timetable. It was only a coincidence. Really.

2. Reach healthy body weight by Fall 2009.
3. Save money for trip to England for my next vacation, Summer 2009. Anyone want to come?

All right. Here goes.

The only thing to do is jump over the moon.

Archiving

For those new to the site, I am currently working on putting past blog entries from my former blog website in the blog archive for your viewing pleasure!

Yes...I'm bored. Nothing a little X-Files won't fix.