A Rare and Unfiltered Moment

I apologize. I am not typically this flowery (no pun intended, I promise) in language, but I wanted to share this moment before it went away. I hope I don't regret this unfiltered moment.

7:40 AM, Sunday morning. Woodland Park Rose Garden, Seattle.

I saw the sun rise today on my way to the garden and I am breathless as the vibrant sky expands before me. Under the spread of dusky pinks and hazy purples, the world awakens, banishing the dark night sky with the arrival of the sun.

I sit in this Rose Garden and I marvel at its simple beauty found in their delicate flowers. Everywhere, there are cascades of flowers, lending to the air their sweet fragrance. Roses fill the garden with their graceful, delicate beauty; their soft and bright colors of reds and blues, pinks and purples, yellows and oranges. The beauty of this garden can barely be contained in the middle of this dreary city.

I am overwhelmed with this hidden reflection of Eden.

The beauty of creation unfolds before me. Like Eve, I forget my place in it. I am uncertain, unsure. I have hidden what I have to offer for so long that I no longer remember that deep within me is a beauty ready to blossom; this fragile rose in midst of these present weary circumstances.

Do you, O Lord, see me and wonder at the beauty you have created in me?

The Annual Post About Writing for Sports Camp

Last year, I was informed that every time I write for Sports Camp, I come away with the same lesson.

This year's skit was no exception. The only difference is, this is the first skit that my main protagonist didn't struggle with an identity crisis that would be resolved within two acts. But true to form, I over-identified with the script. My deuteragonist, Gracie, was paralyzed by fear of failure and disappointing others.

Poor Gracie.

I understand that the nuances of the script will go unnoticed in the shadow of the superhero, Super Summer, and the crazy (dare I say, silly?) antics of his nemesis and his minions. But I still pray that God will use the Sports Camp Drama team and the script to reach to the children participating in Sport Camp.

Every year, I look forward to this week long event. I don't play sports very well and understand little of how to play organized sports. However, it is a blessing to offer the little creativity I have and share it with a group of extremely talented students. I find a certain joyous fulfillment in writing for the Sport Camp Drama Team and working with these talented kids. They amaze me every year with their acting skills and infectious energy. I am not a funny person, and I am definitely not a comedic writer. I'm the dramatic and broody one. However, in the hands of these students (and some very wonderful adults!), the skits are funny, light-hearted, and entertaining.

Working with them throughout the month reminds me of the great days of rehearsals for both drama club and choir. In high school, I lived for choir and drama rehearsals and performances. I don't sing very well and I can't act, but I often found more joy in the backstage work and the process of learning songs than in the actual performances. And throughout the month of July, I get to rekindle that love for the stage with a group of kids.

This year's Sports Camp Drama Team is exceptional. I'm praying for this team; that God will use them in a mighty way. I hope they see this time together as a blessing as much as I have. We have a long week ahead of us, and I know their hard work will pay off. Whatever happens, I hope they will just have fun. And I pray that God will delight in the joy they have in working together.

If I could write for and work with this drama team every day of my life, I would be a happy girl.

The Un-Abby Adventures in Disneyland

I'm not quite sure what came over me.

I just wanted to leave. To just get on a plane and be somewhere-not-here for a day. My friend from work and I have joked about it for so long, that it just became a thing we said whenever we had this sudden urge to escape.

A few weeks ago, my friend and I had this conversation. We laughed because we knew we didn't mean it. In the end, we knew would never leave. As usual, our logical minds took over. Leaving was never the answer. If we went, it would be the stupidest thing we could ever do--financially and otherwise. We had other obligations that we were loyal to. And so, we recited our lines and arrived at the same conclusion that we always come to: we can't leave.

I'm not sure who said it first, but the subject of Disneyland came up. We justified that we could visit for the day and be back for work the next day. It would be cheaper than escaping to London or Hawaii (my standby choices) and it was actually feasible.

I'm not quite sure what came over me.

If our conversation was a Pinter play, this is where the twist would happen. One of the characters would change the dialogue and suddenly what the two characters had been talking about for two scenes suddenly wasn't what audience originally had thought the play was about.

After the seventh or seventeenth excuse of how actually escaping to Disneyland for a single day was not a good idea, I was convinced that we really needed to go. I told my friend that I was serious about going and that we should go. I offered to go the next day and we recited the usual barrage of excuses.

I'm not quite sure what came over me.

Suddenly, hopping on a plane for a single day trip to Disneyland wasn't something I just said. It was something I had to do. I didn't care how careless and lame it sounded; Disneyland for a day? Why would anyone in her right mind go for a day?

I couldn't provide a reason to justify going. I just wanted to go.

I couldn't explain why escaping was a good idea. I just wanted to go.

I couldn't hide behind my obligations to people and activities that would certainly go one without me. I just wanted to go.

And I wanted to go now.

Granted, in the grand scheme of things, going on a day trip to Disneyland isn't high on the risk taking scale. But it wasn't just about going to Disneyland. It was about just going somewhere with the sole purpose of having fun. It was about doing something more than just talking about what I wanted to do instead of just doing it. It was about doing something unexpected. Illogical. Out of the ordinary.

Un-Abby.

We picked a day. We purchased tickets. We planned how we were going to execute our spontaneous decision to choose something different than the ordinary.

We were going to Disneyland.

And I don’t regret it for a second. I don’t think I ever will. And I hope this is a beginning of many new adventures to come.

I’m not quite sure what came over me. But I hope it happens more often.

Song in My Head

I haven't shared in months. I haven't processed in months. And I have some people telling me that writing helps me process.

Ok. I don't have a lot to offer except for one single song that makes me think of someone that I will miss dearly:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are gray.

You'll never know, Dear, how much I love you.

So please don't take my sunshine away.

Anyone who knows me know that I prefer rain--Singin' In the Rain, anyone? However, this song makes me remember the ray of sunshine that was Lola and never ceases to make me happy.

I miss you so much, dear Lola. I wish I had better words to express how much you mean to me. But all I can come up with is that I'll always remember you singing this song, in your gentle voice and your lovely Filipino accent.

I love you, dearly.