Grr. Argh.

Add a blah, blah, blah to that, too.

I'm having one of those moments when the harsh reality of life slaps me in the face.

Sigh. Breathe.

Don't worry, I'm holding on. But I must confess, it's getting harder. I guess it wouldn't be Abby if her mind wasn't in a whirl!

Grr. Argh.

My Little Secret(s)

Last weekend, my sister got married. Congratulations, Paul and Jenny! Many blessings on your marriage!! I love you guys.


In midst of the craziness that is my family and the usual stresses that accompany a wedding and the week I took to recover over said wedding, I had completely forgotten the news I had wanted to share.

Earlier this month, I played piano for our worship team. I had no idea how much I had missed playing piano and playing with a team. I had so much fun relating with other musicians and creating music together. And I look forward to when I can play piano again with them. I guess its a secret passion of mine to play music--I had kept it so close to my heart for so long that I think that not many people know how much I love playing piano.

But I guess the bigger secret is that I used to sing. I guess a more accurate statement is that I secretly love singing and wish I could be better at it (sigh...as much as I deny it, practice DOES make perfect). I sang only one song on one chorus (which is more than I had planned on risking) and I hoped that it sounded all right. Playing piano comes more naturally to me than singing. Piano is a gift, singing is a risk. And even if I never get asked to sing again, I'm fine with it. I've done it once, and I'm proud. In fact, I think that it was number 6 on my Top 22 List of things I wanted to do.

Yes, I'm happy. I think I even scared one of my co-workers who took a double take and asked me: "Are you happy?"

Yes, I'm happy. Life still isn't perfect, and there are some things that are constantly sending my mind in a whirl. Sadly, just because I'm happy doesn't mean that my mind hasn't stopped processing. Shoot, dang.

Yes, I'm happy. Don't tell anyone. It's our little secret.

Currently watching : Sports Night - The Complete Series Boxed Set

When was the last time you had a massage?

This was the very first question I was asked when I got my massage this morning. It was almost like being Catholic again and the priest asks me when my last confession was. But the lady probably just wanted to know how much she needed to inform me of what was going to happen to me for the next hour. But, you know me...I take very simple questions and run with it.

But this isn't about reality. This is just another snapshot of what goes on in my brain. So, back to my tangent...

As the lady waited for me to answer, these thoughts kept popping into my head: Do people usually remember when they had their last massage? Do people have massages on a regular basis? If they do, why?

I don't often splurge on spa treatments. It never really occurs to me to do so. When I splurge, it usually involves a trip to a bookstore (I know, I know...I'm such a boring nerd!) but with my sister's wedding coming up and the threat of family-related stress looming over my head, I realized I needed to hide for awhile. Hence, the massage.

After my massage, I felt so wonderfully relaxed. It was totally worth it. If people did get regular massages, I can understand why. I had no idea how much tension I had carried on my body, and feeling it being swept away was a pleasant experience.

Now that I am completely hooked, I heartily take any donations toward helping making these massages a regular occurrence.

Polinkibots

I don't know if its because I'm being nostalgic or because its been raining the past couple of days or because my sister's getting married next week, but I'm really missing a couple people right now.

Hey 6th and Pine People...you know who you are.

Yeah...I don't know how to describe it other than to say...
...polinkibots.

Currently reading : A Mighty Heart By Mariane Pearl

Game on!

Ok. So I've written a book. Now what?

The first comment I get is of the I-didn't-know-you-were-a-writer variety. My usual answer is a blushing reply of I-didn't-know-either. I get a few laughs and the subsequent conversation consists of two questions:

1. When can I read it?
2. What are you going to do with it now?

The first question is answered with a shrug and a sly smile that I usually can get away with, depending on the person. The second one is a little trickier.

Writing, as I may have eluded to before, is like a relationship. It's not just personal. It's very personal. And to put it out there is a risk that I am not always ready to take. Yes, I have thought of it. Questions like what if I'm not a writer? and can I handle the inevitable first rejection? arise, squelching any courage I was able to muster. I'd read other writings and I'd think either Man, they're really good. I can never do this or Yeah, Baby! I can do this. I can TOTALLY do this.

So here I am. I'm going through one of what will be many drafts, and I am thinking to myself...why am I doing this? For my own pleasure, to know that I can write an entire book from start to finish? Or am I going to put this out there for others to see?

I don't know if it will work, but I'm going for it. Research, editing, risking rejection, searching for acceptance.

Game on. Let's go.

Currently reading : Finding Your Voice: How to Put Personality in Your Writing By Les Edgerton