Ebenezers In Midst of Disappointing Discouragement

Don't tell me what I can't do.

--Ben Linus** to John Locke, LOST "The Brig"

Ebenezer: a memorial, usually established to remember what God has done for a person or a group of people.

I've been thinking about the past year.

It always amazes me that only a year has gone by. I can't even recount all that has happened in a year; at times, it feel likes like that it seemed that a lifetime had passed between memories.

This time last year, I was anxious about many certain changes in the horizon. This time last year, my heart would be changed and music would reenter my life. This time last year, I had many hopes--some of which had come into fruition and others that have yet to be fulfilled.

However, in the past several weeks, I had been disappointed and discouraged. What I had hoped for seemed to be out of reach and slipping away, and I didn't know if trying mattered any longer. I refused to quit, but I wasn't engaging in the battle to continue, either.

I suppose the biggest reason why looking back means so much to me is that I was near ready to give up on certain things that I have wanted for so long. And somehow, it is in remembering how far I've come that helps me put my life in a more encouraging perspective.

Lord God, you are always at work and you have brought me this far. I pray you will forgive me for the times when I despair in my disappointment. I wait in eager expectation to see where You will take me next. When faced with doubt, may I have faith. When I am faced with despair, may I always choose hope.

Especially when people tell me that I can't.

**Ok. I know that I should give Locke the credit for the quote above, especially since this repeated phrase is mostly attributed to him. But I'm on Team Ben--would you expect anything different from me?