When was the last time you had a massage?

This was the very first question I was asked when I got my massage this morning. It was almost like being Catholic again and the priest asks me when my last confession was. But the lady probably just wanted to know how much she needed to inform me of what was going to happen to me for the next hour. But, you know me...I take very simple questions and run with it.

But this isn't about reality. This is just another snapshot of what goes on in my brain. So, back to my tangent...

As the lady waited for me to answer, these thoughts kept popping into my head: Do people usually remember when they had their last massage? Do people have massages on a regular basis? If they do, why?

I don't often splurge on spa treatments. It never really occurs to me to do so. When I splurge, it usually involves a trip to a bookstore (I know, I know...I'm such a boring nerd!) but with my sister's wedding coming up and the threat of family-related stress looming over my head, I realized I needed to hide for awhile. Hence, the massage.

After my massage, I felt so wonderfully relaxed. It was totally worth it. If people did get regular massages, I can understand why. I had no idea how much tension I had carried on my body, and feeling it being swept away was a pleasant experience.

Now that I am completely hooked, I heartily take any donations toward helping making these massages a regular occurrence.

Polinkibots

I don't know if its because I'm being nostalgic or because its been raining the past couple of days or because my sister's getting married next week, but I'm really missing a couple people right now.

Hey 6th and Pine People...you know who you are.

Yeah...I don't know how to describe it other than to say...
...polinkibots.

Currently reading : A Mighty Heart By Mariane Pearl

Game on!

Ok. So I've written a book. Now what?

The first comment I get is of the I-didn't-know-you-were-a-writer variety. My usual answer is a blushing reply of I-didn't-know-either. I get a few laughs and the subsequent conversation consists of two questions:

1. When can I read it?
2. What are you going to do with it now?

The first question is answered with a shrug and a sly smile that I usually can get away with, depending on the person. The second one is a little trickier.

Writing, as I may have eluded to before, is like a relationship. It's not just personal. It's very personal. And to put it out there is a risk that I am not always ready to take. Yes, I have thought of it. Questions like what if I'm not a writer? and can I handle the inevitable first rejection? arise, squelching any courage I was able to muster. I'd read other writings and I'd think either Man, they're really good. I can never do this or Yeah, Baby! I can do this. I can TOTALLY do this.

So here I am. I'm going through one of what will be many drafts, and I am thinking to myself...why am I doing this? For my own pleasure, to know that I can write an entire book from start to finish? Or am I going to put this out there for others to see?

I don't know if it will work, but I'm going for it. Research, editing, risking rejection, searching for acceptance.

Game on. Let's go.

Currently reading : Finding Your Voice: How to Put Personality in Your Writing By Les Edgerton

Sigh...

Sigh. I inherited a keyboard from my cousin. (THANK YOU SO MUCH!) Although I was trained on a real piano, I will not complain. I miss playing so much that I don't care now. I love this keyboard. I've played for two days straight since I got it and I feel SO much better.

Ok. I'm done. Leave me to my bliss.

Currently watching : Sports Night - The Complete Series Boxed Set

What never ceases to make me smile

When I left work Monday night, it hit me: the smell of fall. Cool, crisp, clean. I don't know why, but when I steal a moment of a crisp fall night, it makes me smile. I feel invigorated. Alive. Unstoppable. Refreshed.

At peace.

I love the fall.

The only thing better? Ask me the day in winter when it finally hits me that its the holidays. I can't wait!

I didn't think it would be so hard to say goodbye...

This actually happened a few months ago. I hadn't told anyone because I dared not to believe it. But here it is.

I finished my book.

Its so weird. I had lived with these characters for over three years and now its done. The day I had finished, I nearly cried because I had nothing new to add to their stories. Of course, I'll edit them, but I will add nothing completely new. My journey with these characters is over, and its hard to say good bye to them.

So, it's sitting in my computer, this great accomplishment of mine...and I'm happy that for the moment, they're my characters. No one owns them yet, and they are pure creations borne from my odd imagination.

And now, I have to say good bye to them. Move on. I don't know what will happen to them next...but I need to move on to new characters, new story line, new ways to express the creativity that is itching to be freed from this crazy brain of mine.

I had worked for so long for this moment and now that its here, I am having a hard time letting it go.

I've got my own voice...so how can I help but to shout and rejoice?

A Stunning Revelation on a Completely Random Phrase

Here's a telling conversation.

Friend: I think you're making a mistake.
Me: [laughing.] You know, everyone seems to think so no matter what I say or do.
Friend: [feeling bad as he realizes the flippancy of his answer] I didn't mean--
Me: [still laughing.] I know what you meant. It's ok. It's just an interesting observation. I just think its funny that it's come up a lot lately.
Friend: I didn't mean to make you feel bad.
Me: [STILL laughing] I know. I know. Its just what do you expect me to do when you tell me something like that?
Friend: [thinks about it. starts laughing.] I don't know. I guess it was supposed to change your mind.
Me: Has it ever worked?
Friend: [shrugs.] Come to think of it, I don't think it ever has.

As of late, I am very amused at this phrase. Regarding the same issue, no matter what I had chosen to do, everyone seems to have their opinion (to which they are absolutely entitled) which is best articulated by the same careless phrase: "I think you're making a mistake."

No wonder people think they're always doing something wrong.

I suppose the conversation I had earlier this morning gave me further proof that we will always disappoint someone, and we shouldn't waste time thinking about what everyone else will think of us. The truth is, I know people care about what I decide to do, but I find a lot of guilt and shame in that phrase, despite people's best intentions. Careless words are what make up that phrase. And I think the world could use less of them.

Odds are, I probably was making a mistake. I make them every day. I don't need to be reminded of it. But its funny how we share these opinions out of the goodness of our hearts, but at the same time, break the hearts we had set out to protect.

Humans are funny that way, I suppose.

Now don't get me wrong. I think the phrase is completely useable and useful when sought after. If someone asked me if I thought they were making a mistake and I found out they really wanted to know my answer, then I would tell them the truth. And I expect the same from the people I ask. But I hope that I would try to refrain from throwing that phrase around unsolicited.

People are entitled to their opinions. It would be stupid of me to ignore that. But I hope that we all learn the difference between sharing opinions and empty speech.

So my question to all is this: which careless phrase (regardless of the person's intentions) bugs you the most?

Currently watching : Serenity (Collector’s Edition)