Growing Pains

I've been sitting in The Coffee Shop for the past hour, looking at a blinking cursor.

I can't seem to create anything at the moment, but I feel like I should.

But all I can offer is a conversation that has been resonating in my head for the past two weeks. This is a conversation I had with one of the amazing children at my church. I have a hard time that I have known these children when they were toddlers. Now, they're growing like weeds, and will probably surpass my height by the time they reach the age 10.

As a running joke, I ask the children if they could stop growing so that I might have a chance to grow up.

And so, the following conversation ensues:

Kid: No! I want to be taller.
Me: So do I! Just wait until I get taller, then you can grow some more.
Kid: It's not my fault that I'm getting taller.
Me: Whose fault is it?
Kid: Nobody's! God wants me to be taller just like he wants you to be short.
Me: Is that how it works?
Kid: Yup. Why do you want to be something different than what God wants you to be?

I didn't have an answer for that. It's amazing what a child can bring to light. Jokes about my height aside, I do struggle with who I am right now and how I keep wishing it was different. It never occurs to me that it might actually be who God wants me to be right now. And my refusal to be content with this reality is where I experience the most painful kinds of strain.

I want to be so much more, but I wonder if this is all that I will ever be. And if it is, would it be enough?