Choosing a Different Story

I've been thinking a lot about the stories I've inherited.

A few days ago, I found out some stories about my family of which I had no idea. Considering that my family is prone to keeping secrets, discovering new stories wasn't a surprise, but the content of said stories certainly caught me off guard. As I contemplated these stories, I realized how much I had hoped that I had known these stories sooner. If I had known these stories, would I have been saved from sharing similar experiences?

Please don't misunderstand me. There are many things I wish to inherit from my family, many traditions and stories I want to continue and build upon. I'm not well versed in generational sin, but I do believe that there are some stories that I hope I will not continue. I want them to end with me. I don't want to pass down the shame and fear and isolation that seems to follow my family. I want them to live with true joy, true love, a true relationship with God. I want them to experience a different kind of story.

One of my deepest desires is to have my own family, and as of late, I've been contemplating the kind of legacy I would build for my family. I hope that my family will glorify God and enjoy the presence of his peace and freedom. I hope for my family an abundant life and not one that is afraid or lived in secret. I hope for my family love that is real and a love that they will not have to question or doubt.

Most of the time I find myself without much of a purpose. I've been told many times that I can't do certain things, usually resulting in me giving up. But of all the things I hope in my life, I will not give up this. I love the family I have now, but I want more for us. I want to pass on a different story.

So, for the family I hope to have someday, I'm praying for you.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

-Ezekiel 36:26 (ESV)

And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

-Joshua 24:15 (ESV)