This isn't a bulletin post/survey. Since last Thursday, I was bombarded with a crazy amount of trials and tests, tears and tremendous joy. This weekend has shown me so much that I don't think it actually fits in my head.
So here goes.
1. I have a great family.
2. My family still drives me insane.
3. I don't know what I would do if I lost my grandpa.
4. My mother does love her parents.
5. My sister sacrifices more for her family than anyone else.
6. I wish people would thank my sister for all the love she offers.
7. My three cousins from Washington are still my favorites.
8. My mom is still a superhero.
9. I get cranky on two hours of sleep.
10. I could live off of Americanos.
11. Coffee should come in IV drips.
12. I have the greatest church in the world.
13. I have the best friends in the world.
14. I love my Sunday school kids.
15. I remembered why I love teaching kids about God.
16. My Starbucks co-workers are wonderful people.
17. I will miss most of my Starbucks co-workers.
18. I wish I could have provided my partners find a better work environment before I left them.
19. I still feel like I betray people when I leave them.
20. I still love taking long drives at night.
21. I love driving my grandpa's car.
22. I wish I had a piano nearby so I could play during heightened moments of emotion.
23. I love getting to know new (and not so new people).
24. I definitely laugh more since I started working at Starbucks.
25. I am excited for what God has in store for me.
26. I am convinced, more than ever, that whether I am joyful or in sorrow, God is always at work. Always.
27. I am not as afraid of life as I thought I was.
28. Two friends of mine are having a son!!! (yeah!)
29. I want to adopt all of the children from World Vision.
30. I can't adopt all of the children from World Vision.
31. I still have hope.
32. Babies come with hats.
Technically, #32 doesn't count. Extra credit to the person who tells me where I got that from. And honestly, it shouldn't be a hard guess!
PS--If you think about it, please keep my grandpa and the rest of my family in your prayers. Thank you.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Sunday, February 18, 2007
The Firm Grip of the Corporate World
My last shift at Starbucks was Saturday night (yes, more dancing of joy!). When my alarm went off the next morning, my first thought(s) were this:
What shift do I have? What day is it? What's going on right now?
Yes. That's right. My first moments of freedom were plagued by thoughts of when I was going to work at Starbucks.
:::shaking fist in the air::: Darn you, O you corporate world!!
After I threw my alarm clock across the room in protest, I peeled my eyes open and realized two things:
1. It was Sunday. And I don't work Sunday mornings.
2. Never in my two years of working at Starbucks have I ever forgotten what day it was or when I was working.
So it was odd to me that not only were my first thoughts after I had left Starbucks were about when I was working next, but they were thoughts that I had never had while I was working there.Yes, I did my dance of joy in the shower that morning.
And no, there will be no repeat performances.
What shift do I have? What day is it? What's going on right now?
Yes. That's right. My first moments of freedom were plagued by thoughts of when I was going to work at Starbucks.
:::shaking fist in the air::: Darn you, O you corporate world!!
After I threw my alarm clock across the room in protest, I peeled my eyes open and realized two things:
1. It was Sunday. And I don't work Sunday mornings.
2. Never in my two years of working at Starbucks have I ever forgotten what day it was or when I was working.
So it was odd to me that not only were my first thoughts after I had left Starbucks were about when I was working next, but they were thoughts that I had never had while I was working there.Yes, I did my dance of joy in the shower that morning.
And no, there will be no repeat performances.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Scarecrow...I'm going to miss you most of all...
Today was my last open shift! (Wahoo!! I'm doing my dance of JOY!) Technically I have one more shift to go, but today was when I would see my regular customers for the last time. One of my favorites (Iced Venti Americano David) actually followed me from my first store. We have a great customer-barista relationship consisting of poking fun of each other and commenting on the art that is the pastry case.
When he walked in, he brushed away a fake tear.
David: It's your last day.
Me: Come on, you've got to get at least one tear. Pinch your leg.
David: I tried, but I decided that it hurts.
Me: Want your usuals? [after I had already started making them.]
David: That's how you take care of me!
Me: I always do. Well...at least until Saturday.
David: [starts mock crying again.] What am I going to do now?
Me: Stop drinking coffee. Start drinking tea.
David pays for his coffees and walks up to the hand-off plane to talk to me.
Me: Happy Valentine's Day, by the way.
David: Don't tease me with your fake love and your fake holiday. You're leaving me.
Me: Technically, I'm leaving everyone.
David: But especially me.
Me: [laughing.] Especially you. [handing him his drinks.] But Scarecrow, I'm going to miss you most of all.
David: [laughs out loud for that one. Puts up his hand in protest.] It's too much. Don't speak.
Me: [still laughing.] In all seriousness. David, I have enjoyed getting to know you.
David: Abby...
Me: I'm serious. I will really miss you.
David: I will miss you. I'm proud of you, but I'll miss you. Stay out of trouble.
Me: Take care of your daughter.
David: I will. And I will sing to her the ballad of Abby and the pastry case.
Me: You better!
And he walked away, laughing at a joke I know no one else understands.
For all the craziness of the past year, its moments like these that I will miss the most.
When he walked in, he brushed away a fake tear.
David: It's your last day.
Me: Come on, you've got to get at least one tear. Pinch your leg.
David: I tried, but I decided that it hurts.
Me: Want your usuals? [after I had already started making them.]
David: That's how you take care of me!
Me: I always do. Well...at least until Saturday.
David: [starts mock crying again.] What am I going to do now?
Me: Stop drinking coffee. Start drinking tea.
David pays for his coffees and walks up to the hand-off plane to talk to me.
Me: Happy Valentine's Day, by the way.
David: Don't tease me with your fake love and your fake holiday. You're leaving me.
Me: Technically, I'm leaving everyone.
David: But especially me.
Me: [laughing.] Especially you. [handing him his drinks.] But Scarecrow, I'm going to miss you most of all.
David: [laughs out loud for that one. Puts up his hand in protest.] It's too much. Don't speak.
Me: [still laughing.] In all seriousness. David, I have enjoyed getting to know you.
David: Abby...
Me: I'm serious. I will really miss you.
David: I will miss you. I'm proud of you, but I'll miss you. Stay out of trouble.
Me: Take care of your daughter.
David: I will. And I will sing to her the ballad of Abby and the pastry case.
Me: You better!
And he walked away, laughing at a joke I know no one else understands.
For all the craziness of the past year, its moments like these that I will miss the most.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Tragic Obsession
I finally finished The Final Days by Woodward and Bernstein last night. And yes, Nixon still resigned and the country went on a little more cynical and a little more broken.
I know my political obsession is at an all time high, but bear with me.
Why did I find Nixon and Watergate so interesting these past few months? It started out with...well, The West Wing (but that's another post) but it grew with the fact that I had absolutely no idea what the Watergate scandal really was. I could pretend enough to carry a conversation, but I had no idea what happened. I knew there was a hotel. There was robbery. There was a cover up. And...then
Nixon resigned.
I read All the President's Men last summer and finished late fall. I could have left it at that, feel like rest of the country (in the late 70's) and feel duped by my government and my nation's leader.
But anyone who knows me knew that I couldn't leave it like that.
The Final Days is about the last days of the Nixon Administration. And the central tragic figure is Nixon. I actually felt for the broken man who also had to lead this country. He was a horrible politician...meaning he wasn't a very good one. He was attempting to unite the world in peace amid a botched war, the threat of communism, and a failing foreign policy. Was he a good man? Was he a bad man? According to the book, no one knew--especially Nixon. This man, this tragic figure forever blotched in our nation's history, was overcome by his circumstances, from which he could never recover.
The first book--the more famous one of the two--made me untrusting of the man who was the President. The second book made me see him as the man struggling to be a President.
One more note about Nixon. I don't think people realize how close we could have come to a coup d'etat. I won't question as to why it never happened, but the end of the Nixon Administration was a demonstration of our government's system. And I'm not sure if we are better or worse because of it.
Currently reading : The White House Tapes: Eavesdropping on the President: A Book-and-CD Set By John Prados
I know my political obsession is at an all time high, but bear with me.
Why did I find Nixon and Watergate so interesting these past few months? It started out with...well, The West Wing (but that's another post) but it grew with the fact that I had absolutely no idea what the Watergate scandal really was. I could pretend enough to carry a conversation, but I had no idea what happened. I knew there was a hotel. There was robbery. There was a cover up. And...then
Nixon resigned.
I read All the President's Men last summer and finished late fall. I could have left it at that, feel like rest of the country (in the late 70's) and feel duped by my government and my nation's leader.
But anyone who knows me knew that I couldn't leave it like that.
The Final Days is about the last days of the Nixon Administration. And the central tragic figure is Nixon. I actually felt for the broken man who also had to lead this country. He was a horrible politician...meaning he wasn't a very good one. He was attempting to unite the world in peace amid a botched war, the threat of communism, and a failing foreign policy. Was he a good man? Was he a bad man? According to the book, no one knew--especially Nixon. This man, this tragic figure forever blotched in our nation's history, was overcome by his circumstances, from which he could never recover.
The first book--the more famous one of the two--made me untrusting of the man who was the President. The second book made me see him as the man struggling to be a President.
One more note about Nixon. I don't think people realize how close we could have come to a coup d'etat. I won't question as to why it never happened, but the end of the Nixon Administration was a demonstration of our government's system. And I'm not sure if we are better or worse because of it.
Currently reading : The White House Tapes: Eavesdropping on the President: A Book-and-CD Set By John Prados
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Over the Moon!!!
Over the Moon, Round 1: I have a new job!
I will start at World Vision in their call center on February 19, 2007. My last day at Starbucks is Feburary 17.
A gamut of emotions are hitting me as I near my last day at Starbucks. I had to tell people that next week is my last week, and it's starting to get to me. I had to tell one customer for the second time in our barista/customer relationship that I was leaving him. He protested when he realized, unlike the other time, he couldn't follow me to a different store.
Yes. I will miss him. And the countless others that I have met and enjoyed their company--partners and customers.
For all its ups and downs, Starbucks has been a great experience, one I hope I will not forget. I am elated to start this new chapter of my life, but like with all things that end, there is a joy mingled with sorrow.
As for jumping over the moon rounds 2 & 3...I'm coming for you!
Currently watching : The West Wing - The Complete Fourth Season
I will start at World Vision in their call center on February 19, 2007. My last day at Starbucks is Feburary 17.
A gamut of emotions are hitting me as I near my last day at Starbucks. I had to tell people that next week is my last week, and it's starting to get to me. I had to tell one customer for the second time in our barista/customer relationship that I was leaving him. He protested when he realized, unlike the other time, he couldn't follow me to a different store.
Yes. I will miss him. And the countless others that I have met and enjoyed their company--partners and customers.
For all its ups and downs, Starbucks has been a great experience, one I hope I will not forget. I am elated to start this new chapter of my life, but like with all things that end, there is a joy mingled with sorrow.
As for jumping over the moon rounds 2 & 3...I'm coming for you!
Currently watching : The West Wing - The Complete Fourth Season
Saturday, February 3, 2007
In the end, He saves me
O my words cannot tell, not even in part, of the debt of love that is owed by this thankful heart.
Thankful. I am thankful. God saves me. He gave me a job at World Vision. But moreover, He gave me friends and family who love me and want more for me than I could ever ask for myself.
I cannot begin to express the gratitude and love I have for my friends and family. I am nothing without you.
God gave me a job, but first, he gave me family.
Thankful. I am thankful. God saves me. He gave me a job at World Vision. But moreover, He gave me friends and family who love me and want more for me than I could ever ask for myself.
I cannot begin to express the gratitude and love I have for my friends and family. I am nothing without you.
God gave me a job, but first, he gave me family.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Toes to the Line, Fist in the Air
God. Please help me. Save me. Please.
God, You are beyond my circumstances. You are above my current situation. But this is my confession. I HATE this. I hate, hate, HATE my current situation. My enemies are fully against me and it's documented for all to see. They have declared war. They want me out...or as one of them said: "Step up or step out." They told me that I am hurting the team, the store, the district. And as they began to tally in all the way I have failed, I kept thinking about how much I don't care. I don't care about this identity, this salesperson that they want me to be.
I would hate my enemies if I didn't agree with them.
I want to leave. I want to be saved from this current situation. I don't belong in this place; this horrible, unsupportive, unfulfilling job. Next Tuesday, instead of offering this forced plan for driving sales, I want to tell them that I'm putting my two weeks notice because God has found a better place for me.
I want to quit. But I can't. My spirit and my heart fail me. All I have left is You, Lord. You are my hope. But I'm dying here. I'm finding it hard to find the faith to keep going when everyone is expecting me to fail.
Please save me, God. Save me. Like you did at St. Stephen's. Like you did at Parkland. Like you did every night when my family didn't know what to do. Save me. I so desperately need you Lord.
I am in a den of lions. A fiery furnace. Pharaoh is behind me. They want my head on a platter...and I'm losing the fight. I fear that I may end up wanting to give it to them. But I can't. I am not a salesperson. I am not a servant of coffee.
I am a servant of Jesus. I am the Lord God's daughter. I am a child of of Father God. I am Christ's bride. I am filled with the Spirit of the Lord and I am here to proclaim His love to the world.
You are my voice in the wilderness. You are the light of the world. You are a big God and you are bigger than this situation. You are my Friend. You are my lover. You are my husband. You are the one who sees me. You are my help. You are I AM and there is no other. You are my hope in a place where I have no hope.
Oh Jesus, my Savior. I humbly ask that you may hide me from my enemies and protect my heart. They may hate me...but your unfailing love is better than life. May I hold to that as I hold unswervingly to the hope that you will bring me to a safe place.
God. Please. I cannot do this alone.
God, You are beyond my circumstances. You are above my current situation. But this is my confession. I HATE this. I hate, hate, HATE my current situation. My enemies are fully against me and it's documented for all to see. They have declared war. They want me out...or as one of them said: "Step up or step out." They told me that I am hurting the team, the store, the district. And as they began to tally in all the way I have failed, I kept thinking about how much I don't care. I don't care about this identity, this salesperson that they want me to be.
I would hate my enemies if I didn't agree with them.
I want to leave. I want to be saved from this current situation. I don't belong in this place; this horrible, unsupportive, unfulfilling job. Next Tuesday, instead of offering this forced plan for driving sales, I want to tell them that I'm putting my two weeks notice because God has found a better place for me.
I want to quit. But I can't. My spirit and my heart fail me. All I have left is You, Lord. You are my hope. But I'm dying here. I'm finding it hard to find the faith to keep going when everyone is expecting me to fail.
Please save me, God. Save me. Like you did at St. Stephen's. Like you did at Parkland. Like you did every night when my family didn't know what to do. Save me. I so desperately need you Lord.
I am in a den of lions. A fiery furnace. Pharaoh is behind me. They want my head on a platter...and I'm losing the fight. I fear that I may end up wanting to give it to them. But I can't. I am not a salesperson. I am not a servant of coffee.
I am a servant of Jesus. I am the Lord God's daughter. I am a child of of Father God. I am Christ's bride. I am filled with the Spirit of the Lord and I am here to proclaim His love to the world.
You are my voice in the wilderness. You are the light of the world. You are a big God and you are bigger than this situation. You are my Friend. You are my lover. You are my husband. You are the one who sees me. You are my help. You are I AM and there is no other. You are my hope in a place where I have no hope.
Oh Jesus, my Savior. I humbly ask that you may hide me from my enemies and protect my heart. They may hate me...but your unfailing love is better than life. May I hold to that as I hold unswervingly to the hope that you will bring me to a safe place.
God. Please. I cannot do this alone.
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