Toes to the Line, Fist in the Air

God. Please help me. Save me. Please.

God, You are beyond my circumstances. You are above my current situation. But this is my confession. I HATE this. I hate, hate, HATE my current situation. My enemies are fully against me and it's documented for all to see. They have declared war. They want me out...or as one of them said: "Step up or step out." They told me that I am hurting the team, the store, the district. And as they began to tally in all the way I have failed, I kept thinking about how much I don't care. I don't care about this identity, this salesperson that they want me to be.

I would hate my enemies if I didn't agree with them.

I want to leave. I want to be saved from this current situation. I don't belong in this place; this horrible, unsupportive, unfulfilling job. Next Tuesday, instead of offering this forced plan for driving sales, I want to tell them that I'm putting my two weeks notice because God has found a better place for me.

I want to quit. But I can't. My spirit and my heart fail me. All I have left is You, Lord. You are my hope. But I'm dying here. I'm finding it hard to find the faith to keep going when everyone is expecting me to fail.

Please save me, God. Save me. Like you did at St. Stephen's. Like you did at Parkland. Like you did every night when my family didn't know what to do. Save me. I so desperately need you Lord.

I am in a den of lions. A fiery furnace. Pharaoh is behind me. They want my head on a platter...and I'm losing the fight. I fear that I may end up wanting to give it to them. But I can't. I am not a salesperson. I am not a servant of coffee.

I am a servant of Jesus. I am the Lord God's daughter. I am a child of of Father God. I am Christ's bride. I am filled with the Spirit of the Lord and I am here to proclaim His love to the world.

You are my voice in the wilderness. You are the light of the world. You are a big God and you are bigger than this situation. You are my Friend. You are my lover. You are my husband. You are the one who sees me. You are my help. You are I AM and there is no other. You are my hope in a place where I have no hope.

Oh Jesus, my Savior. I humbly ask that you may hide me from my enemies and protect my heart. They may hate me...but your unfailing love is better than life. May I hold to that as I hold unswervingly to the hope that you will bring me to a safe place.

God. Please. I cannot do this alone.