I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same

So, I've been battling this stress-produced headache for the past couple of weeks. As such, I have developed this habit of pinching the bridge of my nose. I thought nothing of it until I looked at myself in the mirror and see a faint red line along the ridge of my nose.

Yup. Popped a blood vessel. Vanity at its best, I obsessed over it for awhile, pointing out this near invisible blemish to everyone I talked to today. It's superficial, I know, but it serves as yet another reminder that everything's changing.

I suppose that everything is fluid; nothing stays the same; the only thing constant is change and other cliches. But its taking its toll on me. I've gone radio silent. I've filled every single moment of my life with something. I've slept the days away. I've had insomnia. I've eaten too much. I've not eaten at all. I've regressed. I've escaped. I've been overly joyful (dance of joy!). I've cried until there was nothing left.

And now I've popped a blood vessel. What joy is mine.

I don't know what's going on with me. Nothing's terribly wrong and things can always be worse. I'm going into an exciting time in my life and I've endured some life altering situations. My persepective has changed dramatically a few times and I've held onto my own beliefs to cope with all that is changing around me. I am nothing and everything at the same time.

Yes...I'm a walking cliche.

I don' know why today was harder than other days. Everything's really mostly good, but something hit me today that I didn't expect. I would have normally called this person to share this crazy observation on life, but I realized I couldn't. We're no longer friends. I lost a friendship with someone I didn't know was so important to me until our friendship abruptly ended. Five years I've known this person and everything's changed. And I can't do anything to make it better or make it the way it was before this craziness.

Cliche Number 343: You never know what you have until it's gone.

So now I have this funny story that I know my friend would have thoroughly enjoyed and its swimming in my head. And it only reminds me that I really do miss my friend.

Sigh. Time heals all wounds.

The point of all this is that I've been wounded. And I am having a hard time coping today. But its just today. Tomorrow will be better...for tomorrow is an-...

...nah. I won't finish that cliche.