Strength

I am blessed with amazing friends.

The last time I was this terrified, I stayed inside of my house and didn't talk to anyone. My heart was failing, pouring out in tears, and there wasn't anyone to talk to.

This time around, I can say that is definitely not the case.

Today I didn't want to get out of bed. Today I wanted to hide. Today I wanted to give up and choose the easier path.

Thankfully, God reminded me that I have a purpose that will not be thwarted by a memory that I am trying to overcome. I have friends who bring me great joy and I always have a great time with them (thanks for making me get out of the house tonight. Zoolights was cold, but it was worth it). But most of all, I have a God who is the strength of my heart, especially when I feel like my heart is going to give out.

I don't know how it will turn out. I don't know what to expect or how I will feel or react. But of all the things I know, I am holding onto the truth that I am in the tender care of my God.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

--Asaph, Psalm 75:25-26 (ESV)

I love you, O LORD, my strength.

--David, Psalm 18:1 (ESV)