Is it January yet?

So...I'm reading Reuters and I follow this random rabbit hole to a quiz that can reduce people's political stances into a neat, labeled, political philosophy. According to the 20 questions (four of which don't factor) the quiz had deduced that I am a...

Moderate Liberal Populist.

Really, now. I am so glad that a 20 question survey (again, four of which don't factor) based on a five point scale, can tell me where I stand on the political spectrum. Now, if I could only find a candidate that is also a moderate liberal populist. Because I really want people like that running this country.

Random Would-be-Voter: Umm...I don't understand this policy.
Political Candidate A: What's not to understand?
Random Would-be-Voter: It doesn't say moderate, liberal or populist on it. How do I know if I should vote for you?
Political Candidate B: You shouldn't. I'm moderate, liberal and populist.
Political Candidate A: Me too. At least, today.

Random Would-Be Voter: Cool! [a slight pause.] What does it mean to be a moderate liberal populist, exactly?

[A long silence. Curtain falls as Political Candidates A and B search for more voters while Random Would-Be-Voter stands in line for Canadian Citizenship. End scene.]

Currently watching : Hairspray (Two-Disc Shake & Shimmy Edition)