Weight Loss

I've been working on it for awhile. I wasn't sure if that day will come, but I dreamt about it.

If I did my hair one way, if I wore this sweater or this shirt, if I worked out, maybe I'll see it.

If had enough counseling or memorized enough Bible verses, maybe I'll be over it.

If I played the piano in a certain way, wrote the perfect story, did enough good deeds at church so they won't betray me, I'll finally believe it.

But I didn't see it coming. I didn't know how much I had lost until I finally gave up trying. And today, it happened. I was going to the restroom and I caught my reflection in the mirror.

And I didn't hate myself. I looked at the mirror and only saw beauty staring back. In that moment I believed that I was finally happy with myself.

I hadn't realized how much weight I had carried hating and hiding from myself.