A Letter from the Bleary Eyed at 3:43 AM

Dear Insomnia,

Hello again. This is letter is long in coming, so please forgive me for not telling you this sooner.

I'm breaking up with you.

We've hit a good stride back in college when I used to fill the hours with homework, reading, and last minute term papers. But since then, you've just gotten annoying. I have no use for you. Sure, staying up late can be fun, but I've got other things to live for. And I can't do that with you around.

I've tried to hide from you. I had a fling with sleeping pills. I stopped drinking coffee during the afternoon. I endured the neighbor's dogs just to keep my mind off of you. But nothing worked. Your presence is always here, and I don't know how to get rid of you.

But you're no longer welcome. You are replaced by a wonderful thing called sleep. Everyone loves sleep. I love sleep. I hope to encounter sleep every night from now on, and quite frankly, that leaves very little time for you.

So please, no midnight calls. In fact, no calls at 1:30, 2:15, 3:43, 4:07 in the morning. I won't answer. I won't respond. I've already wasted too much time on you.