Choices

I think that one of the many reasons why people don't choose something is that it also means not choosing something else.

Commit, people!

For the past two days, I realized that the choices I had made and the choices I am making aren't very well received by some I hold in high regard. (Ok...by this, I mean my family.) They don't say it, and they are supportive (for the most part) but they have a blind eye to some of the choices I made.

Especially in regard to my faith.

I don't know why it upsets me so much, but some of the things that were said this Easter weekend rubbed me the wrong way.

Ok...they hurt my feelings.

This isn't anything new, but I guess there is this optimistic part of me that had hoped that something would have changed. But in the end, they are who they are as much as I am who I am becoming.

It hurts that they don't know me. It hurts that they don't know what is important to me because they don't know me. It hurts that all they know is that I had left St. Stephen's but they really can't comprehend that I am no longer a practicing Catholic. It hurts to know that being Catholic is so important to them. It hurts to realize that what makes my heart beat isn't good enough for them. It hurts to see how truly set apart and different I am than the rest of my family.

And yet, if faced with another choice, I would still choose to make the same one. I would choose God all over again. And yesterday, I made a choice to abide in his love instead of trying to win theirs.

But just because I chose God over them doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt.

And I came to this realization (while I sipping my second Americano) when I came to the conclusion that choosing something meant that I was also choosing not to do something else.