Can You Vague That Up a Little?

I live life afraid.

In today's sermon, Rob asked what we would change about ourselves in 2009. I usually don't think about this question until the yearly sermon on resolutions Rob ends up doing the Sunday before New Years. (Poor Rob. But he always does a great job!)

At any rate, I kept thinking about how fearful I am. I am afraid of the unknown. I am afraid of people's perceptions of me. I am afraid of people's expectations of me. I am afraid that I will disappoint others. I am afraid of the things I really want. I am afraid that I will lose the things I already have.

I live life afraid.

Without saying too much, I will offer this: I have hope in my heart that I haven't had in a long time, if ever. And I am a little frightened because I can't intellectually get myself through this. Reason and logic have little room in this. I need to have faith and believe that a little trust can go a long way.

I know I need to trust God and believe that he is good. He will take care of me. He will not lead me astray. He has taken me this far, why would I not believe that he would take care of the rest?

Sing, Daughter, precious child of the King. He anxiously awaits to pleasantly surprise you with the desires of your heart. His hope does not disappoint.

I do not need to be afraid. But I am fearful because I don't know what is going to happen next.

For someone who never sees things coming, I am pretty stubborn in wanting to know how everything is going to work out.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.
--Paul, 2 Timothy 1:7

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
--John, 1 John 4:18