No Room Here for Fear

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.
-Paul, 2nd Letter to Timothy 1:7

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
-John, 1 John 4:18

Today was a good day.

For the past week, I had been fighting with the notion of whether I was really a leader or not. I shied away from it; afraid of what other people might think of me. What if they hate me? What if they don't follow? What if I am not really leading anyone? Should I go back to being the person behind the curtain? (As in someone who hides; sadly, this is not a puppet master/Wizard of Oz/Ben Linus reference.)

At any rate, I fought with this role. Then I realized that things were harder because of my disobedience to follow God and how he chose to use me. I was more afraid of what people thought of me and as a result, I was not trusting my God who only offers me his unfailing love.

So this morning, I embraced God and tried to follow him instead of giving into my fears. Although I felt like I failed more than succeeded, I believe that God used me in some way. You don't have to be a leader to be used in a mighty way. We are only called to obey and stay close to God. And he will take care of the rest.

And as a bonus, I got to play music all day. It was exhausting work, but I loved every moment I was behind a piano and got to work with such wonderful musicians. I love my worship team (both 9 AM and 11 AM teams) and the Easter choir is going to be amazing!

I don't know why I easily forget these experiences and give into my anxious fears time and time again. Replacing fear with God's love can only lead to amazing experiences and divine moments. And I hope that I will not miss out on another beautiful moment because I was too afraid.

Anxiety, I banished you. And now, Fear you have no home here. Only God's love resides here.