Paying Attention to Excuses

I've been thinking a lot about...well, a lot.

As this isn't entirely abnormal for me, I'll offer this small portion of what goes through my head at any given time.

In a previous post about my resolution to not live life afraid, I had come to wonder how it is I became such a person. I am naturally shy and I don't think there is anything wrong with that. But there are many moments where I cross the line from being shy to just being afraid. How did I ever become this person who was afraid of people? Of living? Of risking? Of hoping?

On my way to work today (because you should always be distracted by thoughts during your morning commute...) a flood of excuses filled my brain. My palms started to sweat, my chest started to cave in, and my body started to numb. (Again, I'll try not to do this while on my morning commute.)

Anxiety is not my friend, but it has been trying to be a constant companion this week.

Just like at the end of the movies where the villian talks too much, Satan kept whispering the list of excuses. And just like at the end of the movies, while the villian is jabbering away over his victory while the hero wallows in his inevitable defeat, I kept listening.

Of course, while the villian talks, the hero somehow gets enough time to get over his defeat, plan his escape and with all the strength he has left, conduct a glorious attack.

Villians shouldn't talk.

However, in my case, it turned out well for me. The villian in my story went an excuse too far. It was an old and crusty excuse that has no power or authority left in my life. I was a little surprised to hear it, having not thought about it in quite some time.

If I weren't "paying attention" to my morning drive, I would have tilted my head back in laughter.

There is freedom found beyond those excuses that are now dead to me. And glory to God who reminded me that I am no longer bound to those secrets and lies.

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.
--John, 1 John 4:4