To Share a Life

This weekend was good.

My world didn't change, but it's better now.

It probably isn't a secret that I can't sleep very well. Although the option of a sleep clinic isn't completely out of the question, I do know the reasons why I can't sleep. But in true Abby fashion, I avoided things and set up camp in Denial.

Since leaving my castle in Denial, I realize that I can't exactly go back to that way of stale living. I have to deal with things if I hope for anything to change. What is more, there are people in this world outside of Denial. And learning to live with other people is a long process.

But we all have to start somewhere.

So, I shared my frustrations--mainly my disappointment with how my life is turning out, my disappointment with God, my disappointment with myself. I shared this with friends that I trust--those I have just met and one that has walked with me through my journey for a long time.

This is what I discovered about sharing life with others. It's more than sharing sorrows and struggles--you get to share joys and hopes. You can laugh as much as you can cry. And it is in doing both that makes feeling something a good experience instead of one we try to avoid.

So I cried, my hands shaking uncontrollably as I revealed what truly bothered me. And then I laughed until tears joyfully fell from my eyes.

Nothing was solved. The problems didn't go away. And I am still anxious about the unknown. I still hope for things that I am not sure I will ever be able to receive. But I would choose to share my life instead of merely existing in a lonely one.

And I hope that in doing so, I can finally get some sleep.